How to have honest conversations with your manager

Let’s be honest, not everyone has a warm, positive relationship with their manager. But if you’re ready to have an open and honest conversation, the good news is, it’s absolutely possible. The key lies in building trust, preparing thoughtfully, and communicating with confidence. Honesty is the foundation of any strong relationship, and that includes the one with your boss.

Here are some practical ways to build trust and navigate those tough, but important, conversations.

1. Start Small

Before diving into deep or challenging topics, start by building rapport. Engage in meaningful conversations, whether it’s about a recent project, team wins, or shared goals. Small, consistent interactions help lay the groundwork for openness and trust over time. The stronger your relationship, the easier it becomes to discuss difficult subjects honestly.

2. Set the Agenda

If you know a challenging discussion is coming up, set expectations in advance. Send your manager an email outlining the points you’d like to cover. This approach gives them time to think through your topics, reduces potential defensiveness, and ensures your meeting has structure and purpose.

3. Have a Plan and Clear Goals

Don’t go into the conversation unprepared. Think about what you want to achieve, in the next 30, 60, or 90 days, and how your manager can support that. Practice articulating your goals with a friend or colleague to really sharpen your message.

Share what you enjoy most about your current role, identify areas where you’d like to grow, and work together on an action plan. After the meeting, summarise agreed steps so you both have clear deliverables and accountability.

4. Be Confident and Honest

Confidence comes from clarity. Write down your key points before the meeting so you can stay concise and focused. Speak truthfully but respectfully, it’s not about confrontation, it’s about collaboration. When you approach the conversation from a place of honesty and shared goals, your manager is far more likely to listen and engage.

5. Take Time if You Need It

If something in the discussion doesn’t sit right, it’s okay to pause. You can always say, “I’d like to think this through overnight,” and book a follow-up conversation. Taking time to reflect ensures your next steps are thoughtful and that you both feel confident moving forward.

Final thought

Open communication with your manager won’t happen overnight, but it’s worth the effort. By starting small, preparing well, and speaking honestly, you’ll not only strengthen your professional relationship but also set yourself up for long-term growth and success.